I want 2022 to be a great year. I don’t want to make resolutions that I won’t stick to. Instead, I want to become intentional with my words, actions and deeds.
I am going to be very real and honest with you today. I feel inferior and that I don’t measure up. This isn’t something that has happened overnight nor is it something that someone has done to me. This is completely a me-thing. I don’t know why. It just is. Let me explain by noting some of the things that make me feel small or inferior:
- I do not own a home. I rent. A small apartment. I know this shouldn’t make me feel inferior but it does. I wish I had a home that had room to entertain without feeling like we are squished into one room. I wish I had a spare bedroom for people coming from out of town to stay.
- I never went to University or College. At my work a lot of emphasis is put on education. I have worked hard to get to where I am. I should be content with that but I still feel I don’t measure up.
- A number of years ago I lost quite a bit of weight and got really healthy. Well, I gained back all the weight I lost and am very unhealthy. This makes me feel very ashamed. I know what I need to do to fix this but I just seem to be stuck.
- My children are not perfect. When I hear about how “great” your children or grandchildren are, I feel sad. I feel sad because I feel like people will not/do not love and/or accept my children for past mistakes. I know my children were a “handful” growing up. I also know I made a lot of mistakes as their Mom. This also leads to me feeling like a failure as a mom in general.
So this next year my goals are:
- Invite people over more. They are my friends and family. I want them to come over to visit me not to see my residence.
- Take at least one course or read one book per quarter. Whether it is for work, fun or self-improvement. I want to take the time for me.
- Get healthy and active. Making healthy choices. Not buying the food that derails me. If I don’t have it in the house, I can’t eat it. Simple, I know. But I need to own this.
- Tell my children how much I love them and celebrate them for who they have become. Their past does not define them just like my past does not have to define me. We have all made mistakes in our past. If you cannot forgive, how can you really love?
- Be more intentional regarding my spiritual life. This is part of my self-improvement. You can choose to agree or disagree with this but it is my life. I am not ashamed of my faith.
Whatever your goals you have set for 2022, I hope it involves becoming the best version of you.
Lean on the ones who love you most. Learn from the ones who inspire you the most. Love the ones who mean the most.